16 October 2012

the best actress goes to....

 

 keep smiling. but at the same time pretending that i am happy. looks like i deserve to get the award of best actress right. lol. deep in my heart....... erm  deep in my heart......... i want to express my feeling, but i don't have heart to do so, afraid that it will make him or someone else hurt. if i already hurt you, it is beyond my control. a millions of sorry ya. hoho.

now i am in the process of finding or seeking something. but not person for sure. because the trauma is still there. please do not expect that i am happy with all of this, neither too sad. just the feeling of...... something that cannot be written. being secretive is not easy, and not too hard, maybe. hoho. 

maybe i should just stop blogging because there is no feedback from the readers. another thing is i always wrote about my personal life which is not important for all of you. unless if i share about something that can give benefit to you. hmm.. i will consider that. because there are too many sweet and bitter moment with this blog. lol. 

about my health condition... hohoho. it is compulsory i think for me to do a check up, quickly. and if that symptom is validated by the doctor as critical thing, maybe i need to undergo an operation. hopefully everything will run smoothly.

our life is getting hectic lately. yes, our, referring to those who do not take the short course during semester holiday before this. the main reason why i refuse to do that is because i don't want to ask money from my parents. plus my clique also didn't take the short course. so, now is the time for us to struggle to achieve better result or performance. about the timetable, from monday to thursday we need to stay at the faculty up to 6.30 pm because we have class. maybe certain people will say that luckily our class start at 10.30 am. it is not so lucky for me because i need to park my car far away from the faculty and i need to walk about 10-15 minutes to arrive at the faculty. we don't talk about the elevator yet. if it so crowded, maybe i just wait for my turn. or maybe i need to use the stairs to go to the class. 

the conclusion, i think i need to be more grateful. in addition, my mutarabbi ask me to improve my presentation. oh, this really need hardwork. and i will get new murabbi also. why dont we stay with the same murabbi till death do us apart? -.- it is impossible amira. please be realistic, girl. forget your unrealistic world. hoho. looks like i am not live in this world, especially in malaysia. ya, i feel like going abroad, where there is no people know me. but can i stay at the place like that? because i am always need my family and friends. and sometimes i feel like killing somebody too. or jump from 16th level at my faculty. hoho. but as my friend said, bisikan syaitan semua tu. ignore it.

que sera sera 
whatever will be will be
the future's not ours to see
que sera sera 

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